In order for this post to make sense, you should read this.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

{ waiting }

Now that you’ve read about my trip to the bridal boutique, and the alterations involved, I have an announcement:

I won’t be wearing the dress as a bridesmaid.

Maybe you didn’t catch that, let me rephrase:

I will not be a bridesmaid.

Most people (my mother, the ladies at church, blog readers, and strangers) laughed; while others shared their tales of alterations, wardrobe malfunctions, and misfortunes.

‘W’ recently saw a picture of herself in a bathing suit. She gasped, “sweet Jesus!”

I can relate.

‘C’ lives vicariously through my busty adventures.

Her “girls” are smaller and easier to accommodate. She probably has cute bras too.

‘A’ is vertically challenged and must get a long dress altered.

I measure a foot taller than ‘A.’ She’s eye-level to the masses protruding from my chest.

On a lighter note, Dad challenged me to a day at the Shootin’ Shed with the target guns. He says the satin dress will add a touch of sophistication to the facility. He also assumes it will impair my sniper-like abilities.

Challenge accepted.

‘B” says I can wear the dress to the soybean fields. Of course, ‘K’ says I’m still not permitted on the tobacco planter.

My employment in the tobacco patch was immediately terminated when my skills were severely lacking. Planting tobacco, for me, is like patting my head and rubbing my belly at the same time. Impossible.

Good day, Y’all ~ it’s almost Friday!!!!!!!

Speaking of Friday, enter the TOMS *giveaway* ~ a winner will be announced tomorrow evening, April 13.