Several weeks ago, the 6th grade social studies teacher I was working for returned after her 8-week maternity leave. The next day, I moved to a 7th grade language arts classroom for another teacher’s maternity leave. A few days after this new assignment began, Mrs.S sent me an email with her newborn’s picture to share with students. They were super-stoked to see Baby G. For a quick writing activity, students wrote a letter offering sage advice to the lil’ guy. Their responses – for the most part – made me laugh out loud.

Dear Baby G,

  • You will NEVER win an argument with your Mother.
  • Don’t eat at McDonald’s. You will get fat.
  • Yellow snow is not good, don’t eat it.
  • Girls love flowers.
  • Babies creep me out. You are no exception.
  • Go to church every Sunday, God has big plans for you.
  • Do your homework; detention is not worth the hassle. Believe me.
  • Be creative, courageous, and open-minded.
  • Eat your veggies.
  • Don’t rob a gas station with a screwdriver.
  • Make this life worth living for.
  • I’m not the best person to share advice, but welcome anyway!
  • Video games make your reflexes faster.
  • Welcome to Texas, the best place on earth!

The following letter must be shared in its entirety:

Dear Baby G,

Welcome to Earth, I hope you like it because you’re not going back! When you get hair, do NOT get swoopy bangs like Justin Beiber. Don’t watch Spongebob either, it’ll make your IQ drop 10 points every episode. Hug your Mom every single day. Pray that you don’t have siblings.

Hope to meet you in person real soon!

These middle school students have some great advice for Baby G, I’ll have to remember some of this myself!

Happy Saturday,