How is February over? The last few days (more like several weeks), I feel like that proverbial chicken with its head cut off. Running around from place to place with no purpose, no direction, no real sense of why I’m doing what I’m doing and it’s such a beating. I’m trying to find rest but in the quietness my head spins with guilt for being still or taking a break and lists of to-do’s start forming. That nagging voice inside my head is screaming You should be cleaning this disaster of a house you call home. You need to write more blog posts and keep your commitment to MQ. You need to play and read more with your son. Your husband is tired of leftovers, it’s been three days since you’ve last cooked a meal. Perhaps if you went to the gym more often and prioritized your health and well-being, you wouldn’t be in such a funk. You should really get your head out of your ass and stop all this nonsense. You need to be more grateful and less cynical. You should be thankful for what you do have instead of worrying about or dwelling on what you don’t have. I’m wallowing in the trough of self-loathing and discontentment. I see what others have and automatically assume their grass is greener. This post is supposed to be about my resolution update, I should really pay more attention.

HEALTH + FITNESS

Lose 20% of my body weight
Take advantage of health coach provided by insurance Still using MyFitnessPal.com (nicolemhutchison) and wearing my Virgin Health Miles MAX wrist pedometer most days. Unfortunately, Kamden has a massive diaper blowout literally minutes before we were getting in the car to head to the airport. I took my pedometer off to give him a quick rinse in the bath tub and forgot to put it back on. It’s very disappointing especially since my family and I spent considerable time walking around Arkansas’s capital city, particularly the downtown area, and I won’t get credit for the steps.
Eat breakfast every day Not really.
Take a daily multivitamin Still taking vitamins, along with a Zyrtec for seasonal allergies.
Exercise four days a week Didn’t happen, unfortunately.
Work out with a personal trainer
Drink 150 ounces of water every day
Complete a juice cleanse
Complete a 90-day challenge
Eliminate something from my diet each month (i.e. sweets, fried foods, sugar, fast food, etc.)
January – Rough start at the beginning of the month, but I’ve managed to stay away from excess sugar for two and a half weeks. Small steps.
February – I avoided tomatoes like the plague.

Be showered and in bed by 10:30 every night
Learn more about and use essential oils
Find a skincare routine that works for me
Participate in a “new-to-me” group exercise class January 9 – tried a 60-minute cycling class, January 24 – tried INSANITY, January 28 – Zumba with Miss Ivy
Schedule annual appointments with OB-Gyno, eye doctor, and dentist January 16 – comprehensive eye exam; January 19 – purchased eyeglasses at Warby Parker; January 20 – teeth cleaned; January 21 – cavity filled (booo!) 

BLOGGING

Create a blog post calendar … and use it!
Attend a blog conference
Attend a creative writing workshop
Publish a blog post every day for a month
Publish a “how to” post
Publish an original recipe
Continue the weekly FINISH THIS link up Week #53 was posted January 7, I’m hoping participation will increase as the year progresses.
Start a blog series January 5 – Monday Musings began; January 24 – weekly meal plan with menu/recipes
Meet five bloggers in person
Host a sponsored giveaway
Host a bloggers’ watch party for 50 Shades of Gray Hosted a *dinner & movie* night with 10 friends. We ate sushi and watched 50 Shades. We had a fun evening of good fun and lots of belly laughs but, at least for me, the movie was even more disappointing than I expected. I blame the guy who plays Christian Gray, whatever his name is. He’s a terrible actor. I wish the rumors were true and his wife would demand he quit, sequels II and III would be so much better without him.
Continue writing for MOMquery I’ve been a major slacker on this but I managed to submit a post on breast pumping supplies. I seem to be the go-to person when it comes to that subject. I could be known for much worse, I suppose.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Organize and back up my photos
Sell my current camera and upgrade to this one I’ve changed my mind and WANT this one.
Acquire a 85mm prime lens
Acquire a telephoto lens
Expand Three 31 Photography by scheduling at least 10 sessions
Take a Lightroom class
Join a camera or photography club January 19 – first meeting with Cleburne Photography Club

HOME LIFE

Refinanced our home mortgage for a lower interest rate February 11
Execute our living wills
Create a gallery wall in the living room
Hang a family picture above mantel/fireplace
Rearrange the living room furniture We’ve temporarily moved furniture to accommodate foam floor tiles for Kamden’s larger play space. Our living room is oddly shaped so placing furniture correctly and effectively is a challenge. Making it work for an active toddler is perhaps the biggest challenge of all. So far, Kamden loves having his toys spread between the living room and bedroom so he can walk or push trucks/tractors on the floor. If I need him “safely contained” for a moment, the Pack-n-Play fits perfectly between the wall and Husband’s recliner, blocking Kamden in the living room. This method is our alternative and compromise to those pesky corral-looking panels and gates most people have in their home. I don’t want Kamden to get hurt, but I want him to explore and be a kid too. It’s a fine line, of course, but so far this method is working.
Buy new comforter + bedding for guest room
Buy new side tables + lamps for master bedroom
Repaint the side table in Kamden’s room
Install new kitchen sink + granite countertops
Make our home more energy efficient
Have a technology-free weekend
Find a cleaning schedule … and use it!
Eat at a celebrity chef’s restaurant
Try a new recipe every month
January – Loaded Baked Potato and Chicken Casserole (Husband’s reaction was meh.)
February – Blueberry Muffins

Make the perfect omelet
Host a dinner party with other couples/families
Host a “Friendsgiving”
Host a game night
Meal plan for a month … and stick to it!
Use the Crock Pot once a week for a month
January – used the CP three times (roast beef and pinto beans)
February – meatballs and homemade spaghetti sauce

Save loose change and cash out at the end of the year There is now a Mason jar on the counter will loose change!
Purge the entire house and donate or toss things we don’t use
Have my car detailed inside and out
Sell my car and buy a used SUV or crew cab pickup truck

PERSONAL GROWTH

Find a Bible reading plan (such as this one) that works for me … and use it regularly!
Read and study Scripture regularly and more thoroughly In addition to reading and studying Scripture, I began BIBLE JOURNALING this month! It’s a way to illustrate thoughts and reflections while reading the Bible.
Seek opportunities to improve (i.e. parenting, photography, blog writing, etc.)
Have regular conversations with Lisa January 14 – the shenanigans have begun!
Create a new resume
Get a job with new resume
Join a professional organization and get involved in the local chapter
Finish The Story Bible study
Create and lead a small group for parents with young children
Read 12 books (one per month) 1. Being Christian – Rowan Williams; 2. Captivated By You (Book 4 of The Crossfire Series) – Sylvia Day; 3. Chic & Slim: How Those Chic French Women Eat All That Rich Food And Still Stay Slim – Anne Barone; 4. Fighting Back With Joy – Margaret Feinberg
Keep a prayer journal
Keep a blessings/gratitude jar
Participate in a book swap
Get my hair cut at the start of each season January 16 – hair cut
Have my eyebrows “threaded” by a professional
Get a facial/mani/pedi every other month

FOR KAMDEN

Create a 529 Savings Plan – Opened account and made a significant deposit on January 30
Potty train (no more diapers) by second birthday
Continue weekly classes at The Little Gym January 8 – Kamden was promoted to the “Birds” class (for kids 10-18 months)
Enroll in Kinder-music
Schedule one play date a month
Mommy + Me photo session for Mother’s Day
Plant a tree
Make a special craft or memento
Install book shelves in his bedroom
Read a book before bedtime every night We read books every day, but not before bed. Kamden gets a bath, massaged with lotion, dressed in pajamas, takes a bottle of milk, and goes to sleep. This routine has worked beautifully since he was a newborn and I hate to make adjustments right now.

FOR OTHERS

Surprise Husband with a meaningful gift
Continue donating breast milk to the Mother’s Milk Bank of North Texas January 5 – Donated 332 ounces. January 22 – My pumping days are officially over. You can read why here. As sad as I am, I was able to donated 3,300 ounces to the MMBNT.
Donate to a charity
Throw a surprise party for someone
Attend a wedding
Attend a baby shower
Leave a 100% tip for excellent service
Volunteer at least five hours each month January – FAIL! February – FAIL!
Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
Send a “just because” gift to someone
Send 12 handwritten notes (one per month)
Send a care package to a soldier
Celebrate special milestones (i.e. birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) with snail-mail greeting cards January 6 – sent cards to Nana for her 84th birthday

ADVENTURE

Go to Bova for a custom ring design consultation
Go to Bova and have my ring and earrings cleaned
Have a ladies’ night once a quarter February 13 – dinner and movie
Attend a college sporting event
Attend a professional sport event
Invest in quality luggage … and use it!
Visit three museums January 6 – Perot Museum of Nature and Science in Dallas; February 20 – Clinton Presidential Center & Library
Visit Ruthie in Austin
Visit Lisa in Virginia
Visit Jenny in North Dakota
Visit Jacqueline in Houston
Visit Heather in Houston
Visit Jen in Arizona
Visit a Presidential Museum February 20 – Clinton Presidential Center & Library in Little Rock, Arkansas
Visit a popular landmark I’ve never seen before
Go to Lake Ouachita (Arkansas) with Husband’s family
Go to Fredericksburg, Texas
Go hunting
Play a round of golf
Go to a drive-in movie
Shoot a bow-and-arrow
Compete in a shooting sport
Complete a fitness challenge
Go paddle boarding
Attend a cooking class
Attend a line dancing class at Billy Bob’s

And for good measure …

JANUARY
Read and study the Bible for 31 consecutive days following a specific reading plan. DONE!

FEBRUARY
Exercise 1,500 minutes in a month, or 75 minutes every week day, and avoid “bad for me” foods. FAIL!

MARCH
Walk a minimum of 8,000 steps every day for 31 days (must wear pedometer).