Hi, I’m Lauren and I’m so glad to be posting today on this fabulous blog while Nicole is away.

I went back and forth on what I should share today. That’s a lot of pressure! But one thing that’s been on my heart a lot lately is marriage.

My husband and I have been married for almost eight years. He honestly is my very best friend and I love him with my entire being. He works in ministry, and has for our entire marriage.

For the longest time I thought that made our marriage safe from divorce and infidelity.

But as I grew up, more and more people I knew were having serious marital problems and more and more were people that we knew in various ministries.

And that rocked my world a little bit. You know, broke my rose-colored glasses.

Now, Chris and I have a great marriage. But, I have been burdened with the need to safe-proof my marriage a bit. And then I struggled with the whole thought of “is any marriage really safe?”

Stressful to think about, let me tell ya!

So a few weeks ago, I joined a ladies Bible study at church. The study is called “for women only” and is basically about making changes within us to be better wives/companions.

I tend to have a mouth on me when I get mad, so I figured this might be good for me.

And honestly, who doesn’t need a little change?

I can tell you that the study is definitely convicting. You see, this study is one-sided, meaning that it’s for me. I’m doing this to make me better. And through that, I hope that Chris will see a change in me, and in turn, he’ll make a few changes of his own. But the bottom line is that at the end of the day, I’ll be striving to be the wife God has directed me to be…not the wife my family/society has instructed me to be.

And the key to doing this?


That simple.

And God laid it out simple for us, but like me, I think many of us skipped over that part.

Ephesians 5:33 tells us that the man should love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

As women, we are created to love. And we need to be loved. So we love. However, men were not created the same as women and they crave respect. That one’s a bit harder for us women.

Now here’s the kicker for me ….. Scripture does not say that I should respect him when he deserves it. It just says to respect him. I expect him to love me unconditionally – even when I’m not very deserving of love. So there can’t be a double standard here. I have to respect him even when I don’t think he deserves it.


And to take it a step further – I should respect my husband just as I respect God.

If I look at the way I treat the two…….polar opposites.

Punch me in the face!!!

I’ve realized that I grew up in a family of man haters.

Marriages, historically, have not been very good in my family. And I’ve always been determined to break that cycle. But I never realized just how distorted “roles” were until this study.

I’ve got a long way to go – I mean I’ve got 29 years of damage to fix here. Very damaged ways of thinking. But I think it’s important enough to try and make a change.

Please don’t interpret that as me having ALL of the answers or the perfect marriage, because friends that is far from the truth. But I think there’s definitely something to this. Besides, it won’t hurt to try right?

So I encourage you, let your hubby know you respect him. Tell him so. Pray for him. Hold your tongue when that snide/hurtful comment isn’t really necessary.

Each week, the other Bible study participants and I have two homework items:

  1. Don’t say anything negative to or about your husband each day.
  2. Pray for your husband daily.

Try it for just a week and see if you notice any changes in your hubby or yourself. I feel confident that you will!

And, while your praying for your husband (or significant other), be sure to say a few words for Nicole and the mission team serving in Haiti. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see pictures and hear about this trip of a lifetime!!!!!!!!

Check out Lauren’s blog, The Crazy Life of LT by clicking ——> HERE