Dear Texas Bloggers,

* CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED *

For those of you who will be attending the DFW Bloggers’ painting party and meet-and-greet extravaganza Saturday evening in Fort Worth, I’d like to briefly introduce myself and give you fair warning about a few important things. Please know that I have your best interest at heart and some of these could be life-saving. For both of us.

  • First, I’m tall and I have *BIG BOOBS*. If you have not read this, or this, or this, or never seen a single picture of me online, this could be of great importance to you. I stand nearly six-feet-tall and I have broad shoulders. Shopping at stores that carry only single-digit sizes or petite lengths has never been an option for me. If you stand beneath six feet, beware of The Girls. They are in a league of their own …… worthy of their own ZIP code …. otherwise known as the two appendages attached to my chest. If we stand next to each other, the picture might look something like this:

See? My friend, Jamie, here fits perfectly against my chest. Sidenote about Jamie: she’s also a blogger friend that I met in person this summer. She’s the bee’s knees and I love her so. She’s a tiny lil’ thing that resembles most of the ladies that call me friend: skinny, petite, and (in her words, not mine) lacking in the chest department. Mine are 100-percent real and, according to Reliable Sources, they are also soft and comfortable if you need a place to rest your head for a nap.

  • Second, I am a hugger. (Is that a word? If not, I just made it one.) I don’t like hugs that are pathetic, like an arm around the shoulder or a pat on the back. That’s unacceptable. I want a full embrace, smash your face against my body, squeeze the air out of your lungs kind of hug. Take a breath, and come into the warmth that is Nicole. If you are not a touchy-feeling, huggin’ type of person, please warn me *BEFORE* I wrap you in my love.
  • Upon our introductions, you’ll probably notice that I have a pretty strong Southern accent. “Y’all” and “All Y’all” are in my vocabulary, as are sweet tea, fried chicken, cowboys, and Mama and Daddy. If I get excited, my accent gets stronger. I will most likely embarrass myself.
  • If I do not embarrass myself with my ridiculous accent, I’ll probably say something inappropriate. I’m notorious for this. If you’re offended, I’m sorry. You can blame it on my wicked sense of humor, addiction to 50 Shades, blatant honesty, or all of the above. Don’t worry, my parents and Husband are used to this and have learned to ignore most of my shenanigans.
  • Speaking of Husband, that guy is my husband. Y’all are probably thinking I’m hiding his name as an identity precaution, but the truth is I really call him Husband. I called him this before we were married. It’s a good thing I don’t call him by his first name though, because he does have a pretty secretive job and if he told me what he did, he’d have to kill me. That’s highly unnecessary so we’ll continue on.
  • I’m not sure if this is applicable to our meeting, but I’m putting it out there for my own safety: If there is food involved, do not be offended if I decline what you offer. I have a severe allergy to dairy (cow’s milk) and it would be a horrible shame to my health and longevity if I were to consume something made with milk, cheese, cream, or the like. Unless I am a millionbilliongabillion times sure that something is made without milk or other milk products, I will not touch it.
  • Speaking of food and drink, I will bring a blue cooler full of ice and some type of chilled beverage. It might be sweet tea. It could be Cupcake Moscato wine. There’s a possibility I’ll have a banana snowcone. You just never know. One thing is for certain: I stay hydrated in the sweetest way possible. And, don’t be surprised if I show up with a Tervis cup or Mason jar. Keeping it real, people. Just keeping it real.
  • Since our event is taking place at an artists’ studio, I should mention that I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler! Seriously, I have no artistic abilities whatsoever. However, I write well so at least my name will be spelled correctly (that’s the teacher in me!!!) and legible.
  • I know this is probably hard to believe, the understatement of the century, but I’ve never missed a meal. In order to keep this record going, if anybody would like to grab a snack (or late supper) after our event, let me know. No pressure. This isn’t a date. You don’t have to pay my bill.

For a more complete “biography” of sorts, check out my ABOUT ME page.

Knowing all of this will either make you like me more than you did before, or stay far, far away. It will be obvious if I’m sitting by myself tomorrow. But I got a feeling that some of y’all have got a little spunk in your shorts and will get loud-n-rowdy right alongside me. Besides, a lady once told me, “Ev’rbody gotta a little freak in them. Let your freak flag fly, Nicole!” so I’m following her instructions. If I’m sitting alone, I’ll talk to my Inner Goddess about Gray-ish things, she always listens intently.

Ladies, I’m super-duper excited to meet all of you tomorrow. Please be nice to me.

By | 2012-09-07T06:00:58+00:00 September 7th, 2012|Blog, Uncategorized|26 Comments

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26 Comments

  1. Emily H. September 7, 2012 at 6:27 am - Reply

    Oh I so wish I was going to be able to make it! I would love to meet you. have a great time.!

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 7:05 am - Reply

      No worries, Emily, we’ll just have to do this again at a time convenient for you!!!!! Happy Friday, don’t know about you but T.G.I.F., right?! Hugs. =)

      Blessings,
      Nicole

  2. JenniferLeighBlog September 7, 2012 at 7:28 am - Reply

    This post is AWESOME! Seriously, hilarious! I’m so jealous I can’t go to the event, but I hope all y’all have a wonderful time!!

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 8:05 am - Reply

      Awww, thanks Jennifer. I wish you were here to attend as well. Happy Friday, and I hope you have a wonderful (perhaps restful??) weekend too. =)

      Hugs,
      Nicole

  3. Dawn Whitsell September 7, 2012 at 7:44 am - Reply

    Nicole, while I am not a blogger, this is Dawn. I had to post something, this is probably the wrong spot. What you just wrote, hilarious!! It is all so true. I think you summarized yourself well. You truly have a gift for writing. Simply amazing. Love ya, miss ya, and have fun! Anyone that doesn’t like you, doesn’t have much of a personality. You’re a real, genuine, country girl with a heart of gold.

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 8:06 am - Reply

      DAWNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have just made my day by commenting on my blog, thank you-thank you-thank you. =) Big hug to you and the family.

      Love,
      Nicole

  4. Sarah Gibson McConnell September 7, 2012 at 8:18 am - Reply

    Nicole,

    I read your blog often. It is nice to read something from a hometown girl. I love this introduction makes me wish I could be there. Hope you have a great turn out!

    Sarah

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 8:39 am - Reply

      Hey Sarah, thanks for reading my blog and leaving a comment — I really appreciate the “hometown” love!!!!!!! Have a great weekend. =)

      Nicole

  5. April @ Red Dirt Mama September 7, 2012 at 8:39 am - Reply

    This is the first time I’ve stumbled upon your blog and I love you already! One of my best friends is named Nichole, and she’s six foot tall and a huge hugger too! We’ll fit right in together! I plan to bring Barefoot moscato!

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 8:41 am - Reply

      Hey April, I’m really looking forward to tomorrow’s event and especially glad to meet you too. I think it’s going to be a lot of fun. Yea for Moscato wine!!!!!!! There’s something about sweet ladies drinkin’ sweet wine, right?! HAHAHAHA

      See you tomorrow,
      Nicole

  6. Kristen September 7, 2012 at 8:54 am - Reply

    I can’t not wait to meet you tomorrow night!! This post is awesome! And I love hugs! I don’t like the awkward one arm hugs either 🙂 Have a wonderful day!!

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 9:24 am - Reply

      Hey Kristen, I’m so glad that you’re able to make it tomorrow ……. yea for invites!!!!! I’m saving a hug just for you, see you later, Alligator. =)

      Nicole

  7. hollihd September 7, 2012 at 9:17 am - Reply

    Oh Nicole, if i didnt love you already i love you more so after this getting to know you post! I am very short (5’1ish) but i too have enormous GIRLS! In fact i will share something very personal with you, 11 years ago i had a breast reduction and the darn things grew back. When you see me now, you’re gonna say “holy cow” those are your second pair of ginormous ta-ta’s!
    I’m a hugger and i’m known for Holli Hugs in my circle of friends so bring out the hugs with a boobs in the middle. LOL
    I am so sad for you that you cant have cheese. seriously, as i was reading this i actually said- oh know she cant have cheese. 🙁
    Please know that i can barely draw a stick figure and the only reason i signed up for this painting mess is for the wine and meeting you gals. Period.
    CAN NOT WAIT TO MEET YOU IN PERSON!!!
    Hugs,
    Holli

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 9:23 am - Reply

      Ohhhhh my curiousity is definitely piqued at your “girs” situation …. HAHAHAHAHA Now that I know there is a possibility they’ll grow back, I’ll keep what I have. Holy Guacamole! I cannot wait to have myself a “Holli Hug” and bring on the wine and friendships, because if I paint a lick it’ll be a miracle! See you tomorrow. =)

      Nicole, the “other” hugger

  8. Angela September 7, 2012 at 10:18 am - Reply

    You just brightened my day, this is such a funny post, I love your vivid description of yourself, it had me laughing out loud. I wont be at the DFW get together as I live in Houston, have fun ladies 🙂

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 11:08 am - Reply

      Awww, Angela, thanks so much for your sweet comment and visiting my blog —- come back often!!! If you’re ever in the DFW area, let me know. =)

      nicole

  9. Kadie September 7, 2012 at 10:32 am - Reply

    Nicole, I just joined the Texas Blogger community so I am just getting to know all you wonderful ladies. The weekend y’all have planed sounds SO fun. I wish I had joined sooner so I could make it. But I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your post! LOVED it! So funny, I’m thinkin’ you are my kind of gal.:) Can’t wait to hear about everyone getting to meat. I hope you take LOTS of photos.:)

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 11:10 am - Reply

      Hi Kadie, welcome to the group and thanks for visiting my blog and commenting —- you’ll have to join us for future events, as I’m sure there will be many. Have a great weekend!

      Blessings,
      Nicole

  10. lifesabeachwishiwasonone September 7, 2012 at 11:50 am - Reply

    haha… after you said we could be sisters, yeah I’m not as tall as you are (5’7) but I have the chest… are you sure we aren’t related… LOL, j/k. And teacher in you….??

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm - Reply

      Hey Nicole …… you and I should seriously look at the family tree, we might find a familiar branch in there somewhere!!!! And the teacher in me is a bit multi-dimensional. I’ve always been a studious person, very much a “teacher’s pet” if you will, and a book nerd. I’m also a certified teacher in Texas and currently teach as a long-term sub while a teacher is out on maternity leave. The schedule works perfectly for my ‘social’ calendar!!!! Hugs to you, Sister. =)

      • lifesabeachwishiwasonone September 7, 2012 at 1:10 pm - Reply

        OMG I keep coming in funny here… oy! Anyway I just wondered b/c I have a degree to teach High School Agriculture 🙂 I just don’t. Don’t know why 🙂

  11. Celeste Zachry September 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm - Reply

    Damn! You nailed it so well! That’s you to a “T”!

    I’m cracking up! Thanks for the giggles!

    • Nicole September 7, 2012 at 9:28 pm - Reply

      You are so welcome —- hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Amanda {at} Royal Daughter Designs September 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm - Reply

    Nicole I was seriously cracking up! Hilarious!! Also – I say in appropriate and embarrassing things in person… WHY???

    • Nicole September 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm - Reply

      Amanda, I feel your pain!!!!! My husband laughs at me all the time because I’ll say something with a really excited, high-pitched voice (on top of my insane accent) and it sounds so ridiculous!!!!! Oh well, it is what it is. =)

      Blessings to you, Friend.
      Nicole

  13. […] stumbled upon Nicole’s post and it was the exact moment that I knew I had found a friend. We have so much in common: generous […]

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