boobs are expensive

Last December, I purchased a bridesmaid dress for 120-dollars. The associate touched my boob when she measured all my parts.

That should have been a discount.

Today, I went back to the dress store to try on the dress and visit with the alterations specialist. She said, “You vewy, vewy pritty. I like yo dwess.”

Ummm, thanks? I think.

She stood well under five-feet but asked me to stand on the raised platform in the middle of a room with brides and their families looking at wedding dresses and mirrors ALLLLLL around.

That should have been a discount.

The dress that draped my body obviously needed alterations.

The “girls” were not properly contained within. That’s a bad situation.

Thirteen pins later, the girls were contained and the shoulder strap didn’t touch my elbow.

Success.

After changing into my regular clothes, it was time to approach the register.

Sweet Jesus.

Here’s the damage:

  • to “take in” the side seam (boob area) — $45.00
  • to “tighten” the pull string (under arm) — $20.00
  • to “shorten” the shoulder strap (and hold “UP” the boob area) — $40.00

Long story short: it costs me $105 to wear a $120 dress.

Boobs are expensive.

Once this wedding is over, I’ve decided this dress will be worn at any and all occasions — from casual to formal. I’m getting my money’s worth out of this thing!

  • Trip to the Wall-Marts for feminine products: wearing The Dress
  • Trip to the feed store for horse feed, fly spray, and manure forks: wearing The Dress
  • Trip to the Kentucky Derby: wearing The Dress
  • Trip to the deer stand: wearing The Dress (might have to wear a pair of long-johns underneath if it’s cold)
  • Mowing the yard on my John Deere tractor: wearing The Dress

I still need shoes to accompany this dress on Wedding Day. I ordered some online but the company sent size 9 and my “skis” require size 11. Back to the drawing board for shoes.

 

By |2012-04-06T21:15:45+00:00April 6th, 2012|Blog|0 Comments

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  1. wilma April 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm - Reply

    Nicole, you make me laugh so hard when you have your experiences in life..The way you look at things take on a comedy of their own.. I can picture you mowing the grass ‘wearing the dress’… We just returned from a month in Florida, looking at the pictures of myself in my bathing suit that my ‘dear hubby’ decides to snap a picture of… oh sweet jesus…Please give me some special ideas on why not to hide in a head to toe suit next time I decide to go into the water..lol…
    hugs
    wilma

    • Nicole April 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm - Reply

      hahahahahahahaha

      I say the EXACT thing when I see myself in a bathing suit ….. OH SWEET JESUS!!!!!!!

      love this! thanks wilma!
      xo,
      Nicole

  2. barb19 April 7, 2012 at 12:28 am - Reply

    This made me roll on the floor with laughter Nicole!
    Let me add another opportunity – changing a tyre (US spelling-tire): wearing the Dress!

    • Nicole April 7, 2012 at 7:40 am - Reply

      ohhh Barb, you’re good! That’s a great idea.
      Hugs,
      Nicole

  3. Celeste April 7, 2012 at 6:53 am - Reply

    Thanks for the giggle! I have to live vicariously through your boob adventures…wouldn’t know a thing about having dresses altered like this 😉

    Have Kevin pick up your camera when you are wearing The Dress at all these fun places!! There are many more stories to be told, I’m certain!

    • Nicole April 7, 2012 at 7:42 am - Reply

      ohhh Celeste, can you just imagine the fun WE all could have had in The Dress had been on mission trip ….. case in point: the photo op that we had to RETAKE because The Girls wanted front-and-center and Roy’s face was blacked-out. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

      Hugs,
      Nicole

  4. Celeste April 7, 2012 at 6:53 am - Reply

    Thanks for the giggle! I have to live vicariously through your boob adventures…wouldn’t know a thing about having dresses altered like this 😉

    Have Kevin pick up your camera when you are wearing The Dress at all these fun places!! There are many more stories to be told, I’m certain!

    • Nicole April 7, 2012 at 7:42 am - Reply

      ohhh Celeste, can you just imagine the fun WE all could have had in The Dress had been on mission trip ….. case in point: the photo op that we had to RETAKE because The Girls wanted front-and-center and Roy’s face was blacked-out. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

      Hugs,
      Nicole

  5. Ashley April 10, 2012 at 8:14 am - Reply

    Hahaha! I can relate to this so much. I have to buy a bridesmaid dress for a friend’s wedding in November, and it has to be long, and considering I’m less than five feet tall, I’ll have to get it altered, so I’ll be spending as much to get it altered as I do just to buy it. Trust me, I’ll be wearing The Dress for everything too!

    • Nicole April 10, 2012 at 8:20 am - Reply

      Glad to hear I’m not the only one this affects ….. have a lovely day!

      xo,
      Nicole

  6. Ashley April 10, 2012 at 8:14 am - Reply

    Hahaha! I can relate to this so much. I have to buy a bridesmaid dress for a friend’s wedding in November, and it has to be long, and considering I’m less than five feet tall, I’ll have to get it altered, so I’ll be spending as much to get it altered as I do just to buy it. Trust me, I’ll be wearing The Dress for everything too!

    • Nicole April 10, 2012 at 8:20 am - Reply

      Glad to hear I’m not the only one this affects ….. have a lovely day!

      xo,
      Nicole

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  8. Elizabeth ⚓ (@TheYoungRetiree) August 10, 2012 at 11:33 am - Reply

    Oh my stars: I bounced over here from Aleks’ blog about bridesmaids and am reding this post before I head back to the other. UM: HYSTERICAL, and I think I would have felt the exact same way. Girls can get in the way of an awful lot- I just never knew they were so expensive to tame!

    • Nicole August 10, 2012 at 11:35 am - Reply

      Hey Elizabeth!!!!! Yes, my “girls” are quite the experience, not to mention expense!!!!!! There are days I wonder if they wouldn’t qualify for their own ZIP code. hahahaha Have a blessed Friday and weekend, come back soon. =)

      Hugs,
      Nicole

  9. Elizabeth ⚓ (@TheYoungRetiree) August 10, 2012 at 11:33 am - Reply

    Oh my stars: I bounced over here from Aleks’ blog about bridesmaids and am reding this post before I head back to the other. UM: HYSTERICAL, and I think I would have felt the exact same way. Girls can get in the way of an awful lot- I just never knew they were so expensive to tame!

    • Nicole August 10, 2012 at 11:35 am - Reply

      Hey Elizabeth!!!!! Yes, my “girls” are quite the experience, not to mention expense!!!!!! There are days I wonder if they wouldn’t qualify for their own ZIP code. hahahaha Have a blessed Friday and weekend, come back soon. =)

      Hugs,
      Nicole

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  14. gayle @ grace for gayle January 2, 2013 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    I’ve been a bridesmaid 17 times. I used to be a DDD. I KNOW that they are expensive! Ugh!
    I learned early on to NEVER use the alterations at the bridal store. I used a lady a few times who charged me like $15 for the entire dress to be altered. FIFTEEN. They do that bc they can.
    SPREAD THE WORD! Don’t use the bridal store people!!! 🙂

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    I’ve been a bridesmaid 17 times. I used to be a DDD. I KNOW that they are expensive! Ugh!
    I learned early on to NEVER use the alterations at the bridal store. I used a lady a few times who charged me like $15 for the entire dress to be altered. FIFTEEN. They do that bc they can.
    SPREAD THE WORD! Don’t use the bridal store people!!! 🙂

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  18. Kathrin April 21, 2013 at 1:30 pm - Reply

    OMG this is awesome!! I refused to do any alterations to the only bridesmaid dress I bought….so needless to say the boob area was a lil too big over my little girls 😉

    • Nicole April 21, 2013 at 5:32 pm - Reply

      Oh Kathrin, sweetheart, I’ve never had a piece of clothing be “too big” for my girls. LOL

  19. Kathrin April 21, 2013 at 1:30 pm - Reply

    OMG this is awesome!! I refused to do any alterations to the only bridesmaid dress I bought….so needless to say the boob area was a lil too big over my little girls 😉

    • Nicole April 21, 2013 at 5:32 pm - Reply

      Oh Kathrin, sweetheart, I’ve never had a piece of clothing be “too big” for my girls. LOL

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